WHY I REMOVED MY INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS?

I don't know about you but nowadays I feel like it can be so easy to get obsessive when it comes to the numbers. For a while now, I have been having this love-hate relationship with my Instagram and on multiple occassions I have came close to pressing the delete button. I felt like I wasn't enjoying my content and neither was anyone else. 

I have had a blog Instagram now for nearly four years and although I have changed my username and deleted my old pictures (wayyy too cringey to keep), it has always been on the account I still have now. Obviously, people come on Instgram, they might start up a beauty account like I did but maybe they grow out of it or maybe people follow you and lose interest, it's not your fault but they're still following you. 

For a while, I had felt ike my account was lacking interaction and activity, I would look at my number of followers and compare it to the number of likes I had on my most recent picture and they didn't match up. Obviously, that's not why I use Instagram, I use it because I love to share content online but it started to make me feel disheartened and almost embarrassed. I felt like I should have had stronger activity for the number of followers I had and although a lot of other factors conribute to this (*cough cough* the Instagram algorithm), I wanted to get rid of some of the inactive accounts that follow me. 

So that's exactly what I did. 

I'm not sure how new it is, but I quickly discovered that you can now remove people from following your Instagram without having to take the extreme option of blocking them. This seemed like the perfect opportunity for me, I could get rid of people following me who I felt as though never interacted with my content. 

About half an hour after starting, I was done and I was down by about 1500 followers but that didn't bother me because I was now reassured with the fact that the people now following me, like and interacted with my content. 

I know feel like I have a fresh start, like I am back to square one, but in the best way possible. People are going to come and go on social media and so I think that going through my followers was a good idea and it offered me the chance to focus on myself and my content more. I don't plan on going off of Instagram or deleting my current one anymore, I want to rebuild my following by making people feel inspired.

Also, sorry if you followed my account and I removed you, it's still @gracexkatex if you still fancy giving me a follow!

Grace xx

AFFORDABLE MAKEUP LOVING- Natural Collection

Writing this post is giving me a major flashback. When I very first started to wear makeup, I remember wandering into Boots and really wanting the Collection concealer, however, it was £4.19. Since I was 13, at the time, and I thought that £4 for a concealer was extortionate so I went to the Natural Collection stand instead. All of there products were crazy affordable so I bought their concealer, blush and pressed powder in a 3 for 2 deal and it must have cost me a maximum of £5. Considering they were some of my very first makeup products, the brand is quite sentimental to me but it had been a few years since I used any of their products, so back in December, I decided to pick some of them up again. With their new packaging and a wider range of products, I had a little look online and placed a small order on Boots so I thought I would share my thoughts on the products I decided to pick up.

When I was placing this order, I was mainly drawn to the powders and the face section because I am pretty content with my base routine and my eye shadow collection is getting slightly out of hand, so trying out some new face powders seemed like the best option. I was so glad to see that they had some of my old favourites still there and I knew I had to pick them up again but there was an offer on. You could buy two products and get a blush and glow duo free, so all in all, I got three face powder products.

The new Natural Collection packaging is quite different from their old one so I thought I talk a bit about it before reviewing each product just because I think that they have improved it massively. I remember their old packaging use to be like a screw lid and I remember that my pressed powder lid actually broke so it did stop me from using it. Now, the packaging has a lid that is always attached, which I think is so much better because you then can't lose the lid. I also love that their pan sizes are a little bigger because that way, they are also a little more shallow, which I find makes them easier to store. I love the new packaging, I think that it is really simple but sleek and they are so much easier to store.

Matte Pressed Powder - £1.99

This powder was such a staple of mine for so long, even after I started to grow my makeup collection further and it is still on their bestsellers list too. I think I love this powder so much because of how simple it is. The amount of different types of powders you can buy now is just quite crazy, they all seem to do different things and they come in different forms but this powder is just so versatile. I use this to set my under eyes, I use it to set my whole face, I use it to set my eye shadow base, it is just the best product to travel with because it can do so much. This powder is really finely milled and it gives off little colour so it is just so useful to have. Having not had this in my collection for so long and now having it back, I can't see myself going without it again. I also have to mention that this powder is so crazy affordable and so there is no reason for anyone not to pick this up and try it out.

Powder Blusher in Apricot Dream - £1.99

I feel like these blushers are what Natural Collection is best known for and rightly so because they are fantastic. I still have the shade Peach Melba in the old packaging and although it is very old, it still works like it did when it was brand new. The main reason I love these blushers so much is that they are matte. I don't know about you, but I find it so hard to find good matte blushers at the drugstore but I feel like Natural Collection did them first and they are still some of the best. I love matte blushers because they double up as cool eye shadows too which I just think is a huge bonus. The formula of these blushers are really nice, they are pigmented but not overly, the blend really well and I love their colour range. This shade, in particular, is a warm, pink shade and I think that this shade is going to be amazing all through the warmer months. You also get a super generous amount of product in this, I think it might even be more than what you got in the old packaging so they are well worth the small price and definitely worth trying out, I definitely want a few more in my collection. 

Blush and Glow Duo in Peach 

This was the product I got free in this purchase, and sadly I can't find it on the Boots website right now but I have left a link to an Ebay seller that sells them. I think that this product is a really cool concept, it is basically a matte blush on one side and a highlighter on the other, so it is a pretty useful two in one product. The shade Peach has a very, as the name would suggest, peach blush shade with orange undertones and the highlight is actually more on the yellow/ golden side which is unlike anything else I have in my collection. After trying this out a few times, the blusher formula is pretty much identical to the regular blushers, which is great because like I said, they are some of my favourites and this shade is just to die for. As for the highlighter, it is pretty creamy and pigmented but I will say that some of the glitters in it came to be a little chunky, depending on how you apply it. I tend to apply with a slightly wet brush and it makes the applications so much nicer as well as making it super metallic on the skin. I think that this is a super cool duo though and it is something I am glad to have in my collection. Whether I would by this or not is another question but I will definitely get my use out of it now that I have it. 

Let me know if you have tried anything from Natural Collection and if so, what are your thoughts on their products? Even after all of these years, I still love their products. 

Grace xx

MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT UPCYCLING

I haven't really talked much about fashion on my blog recently and I guess the main reason for that is because my opinions on the industry are starting to shift. As of recently, I have been exposed to the not-so-nice side of fast fashion and the negative impacts it has both socially and environmentally. I do plan on making another blog post all about my opinions and what I make of the industry but right now, I wanted to document something I want to start doing. 

In school, I am doing a project. Don't hold me too much to it but I am (suppose) to be putting on a fashion show demonstrating the ways in which you can upcycle your own clothes. This is something I really wanted to challenge myself with. As being someone who has always been fascinated with clothes and production and design, I wanted to experience it first hand for myself. This isn't going to be some outstanding performance or outcome, but it is something for myself where I can spread what I believe but also sharing some of my creativity along the way.

I do plan on sharing my journey of upcycling old clothes on my blog, just to keep my inspired and also, hopefully, to inspire someone else reading this.

As a bit of background on my sewing experience, there is very little of it. I didn't do textiles GCSE and trust me, I regret it, but last Christmas, I asked for a sewing machine and my parents kindly got me one, which I am so super grateful for because it is going to make this journey slightly more bareable. I am not a pro on a sewing machine, nor am I a pro are reconstucting old clothes and so with this being my first attempt, please be nice. I know it isn't the best, a lot of the seams don't match and it areas, it looks like a bit of a mess, but for my first go, I am proud of myself. This is a journey and a process and I want to be able to look back at this and see the progress I have made. 

As for what I decided to upcycle. I had a plain white tshirt, sitting in my wardrobe untouched, because it isn't the most flatting shape on me and it can sometimes be fairly see through. I also had a checkered shirt there and I must have worn it a total of once maybe so I decided to combine the two products in a way that would make up a new piece that I might actually wear again.

It probably itsn't the most creative option, but I replaced the short sleeves of the white tshirt with the long sleeves of the checkered shirt. The stiching isn't the best cause the diameters of each piece didn't fully match up and it was kind of awkward to sew because I was too lazy to take everything apart, but here we are.

I actually quite like how it turned out as I have thought about it for ages, but finally seeing it made it just better. There are definitely things I wish I did differently and things about this piece that make it look like an amateur did it (which I am so it's fine). But I'm proud of myself. It was definitely a learning curve and I do only plan on improving from here. 

I hope you liked this little insight into a current project I am working on, I am definitely nervous and excited to see how it turns out. 

Grace xx

SO..I CUT MY HAIR

There isn’t really a reason as to why I making this post but I guess I just want to share just how good change can be. Little things like changing your appearance can have a massive impact and although it could be either love or regret, taking the risk in the first place is an achievement in itself.

For a lot of my life, I wanted longer hair but as of recently, I really just was sick of my hair. I didn’t necessarily want it longer, I just hated what it was like. I’ve always had a love hate relationship with my hair, it never really does what I want and sometimes I like what it ends up doing and other times I hate what it ends up doing. 

I just really craved changed and the new year was approaching. I had previously tried colouring my hair back in December and it didn’t work so another option was to change the style of my hair. So I took the plunge and said I wanted shorter hair. By the time I booked my appointment to get my hair cut short, I was still debating whether this was what I wanted. I didn’t want to do it just because my mum wanted me to or because everyone else was getting their hair cut short, I wanted to do it for me. 

Now, I have my hair done, I love it most of the time. Although I am still adjusting to it and sometimes I look at it and think ‘oops shouldn’t have done that’, I am so glad that I bit the bullet and did something I’ve wanted to do for a while. I did it for me and I think that really shows because although I love it, I’m learning from it also. 

I guess this is just a very long way of saying I got my hair cut. I know it isn’t a big deal to some, but this represents a lot to me. I now feel new and inspired, I feel motivated and it’s given me a boost of confidence I haven’t had in a while. 

If you want to change your appearance, do it, but do it for yourself. Whether it’s cutting your hair, like me, or getting a new piercing or discovering a new style of clothing, go for it. This has reminded me of just how important it is to just do it and do it for yourself. 

Grace xx

FRESH, BERRY MAKEUP LOOK

It has been a while since I have done a makeup look like this and it is pretty unlike me now, considering I barely ever wear makeup. However, I did this look for a family meal and I loved the way it turned out so I really wanted to share the products I used to create it. 

Generally speaking, it is a pretty typical look for me, a glowy and light base but on the eyes, I combined my beloved warm orange tones with a bit of pink for something a little different and this is what I came up with.

Products Used

- Urban Decay Self Adjusting Primer

- Barry M All Night Long Foundation Stick

- LA Girl Pro Conceal Concealer

- Natural Collection Matte Pressed Powder

- Physicians Formula Butter Bronzer

- Too Faced Sweathearts Blusher in Candy Glow

- Ofra Highlighter in Rodeo Drive

- Revolution Brow Pomade in Taupe

- Collection Clear Brow Gel

- Dose of Colours Blushing Berries Eye Shadow Palette

- Zoeva Cocoa Blend Eye Shadow Palette

- Stila Shimmer and Glow in Kitten

- Collection Lash Surge Mascara

- The Body Shop Lip Liner in Pink Clover

- Colourpop Ultra Satin Lip in Likely

Let me know what you make of this makeup look!

Grace xx

I'M DOING WELL

It is crazy how much you can change just with some motivation and hope. Since writing my blog post on Sunday, I have felt nothing but hopeful and optimistic. Some could say that I am talking way too soon, I mean, it hasn't even been a week yet, but I am honestly doing really well. 

This week has been great and it has been a long time since I have been able to say it, and mean it. I have felt genuinely happy this week and I feel like a weight has been lifted since Sunday. As cheesy as it sounds, I'm starting to love life again which was something I never thought I'd be able to say. I have faced a lot of challenges over the past few months and a lot of it has left me dreading the next day before it even started and a lot of the time, my life didn't feel worth living but now, that feeling is fading away and I'm now excited for the future. 

I guess this post is going to be very short considering that this is just a little update, but I guess you might be seeing some more in the near future. 

Hopefully, I will do a blog post tomorrow or Saturday about my plans for February half term as I do actually break up tomorrow for a whole week, which is very much needed. 

I do, though, want to finish this post off by saying that things do get better and that, if you are in a bad place right now, it will get better.

I know I don't say it often enough, but I am always available if you ever want to talk, you can email me at gracexkatex@gmail.com or send me a dm over Instagram, my username is @gracexkatex. 

Grace xx

DAMAGE - EVE AINSWORTH

Trigger warnings for self harm, alcohol abuse or neglect

I have tried so many times to sit down and right this book review, but for some reason, it is a difficult one for me to discuss but I guess I will get into that in a minute. Before I go any further into writing this review I just want to say that if you are triggered by self-harm, alcohol abuse or neglect then I highly suggest that you don't read this book or this review as those topics are spoken about frequently in this book. Right now, I feel ready to discuss this book even though it has been over two weeks since I read it, but maybe this book might benefit someone else. Overall, I did give this book four out of five stars but if you want to find out why, I guess you could just keep reading on. 

This book is about Gabi, who appears to be a pretty typical teenager, however, due to the recent death of her grandad, who she felt like was the only person that understood her, she turns to self herm to deal with her grief and guilt.

That is about as brief of a summary as I can give but hopefully I will go into more depth as I carry on writing. Initially, I was super aprehensive when going into this book because as much as I wanted to see how self harm was presented in this book, I was scared that it was going to be inaccurate or triggering to me personally. This book definitely did come as a shock to me in many ways and I was even more surprised that I read it in a day.

Overall this book is fairly short and the writing is easy to follow due to the language being very simplistic so this could easily be a book you could finish in one sitting, however, due to the heavy topic matter, I would definitely suggest that you take your time but also have a break when you feel as though the intensity is getting too much for you. 

I want to tackle the presentation of self harm first in this review. Firstly, the self harm descriptions in this book are very graphic and detailed so just be really aware of that when going into it, I definitely didn't expect it to be as detailed as it was. Saying that though, the way in which self harm is presented in this book, I percieve as being very accurate. As you progress through the book, you definitely see the intensity of the self harm building up and that is how it feels like for a lot of people, but this book also deals with people's reactions to self harm and the sort of assumptions made about them. What I thought was really good about this book was that Gabi, a while before she started to self harm, she remembers seeing someone else's scars and own self harm but during that time she made assumptions but through this book, you see her come to an understanding of self harm and what it is also like for other people.

Gabi's character as a whole was hugely relatable to me. I think one of the main reasons as to why I loved this book so much was because I have never related to a character more than I have related to Gabi. I know that could be difficult to understand due to the dark subject matter, but it is true. The descriptions of guilt and particularly her internal thoughts that are displayed are highly relatable and so I find myself marking a lot of them because I felt such a deep conntection to the words being said. Gabi is made out to be someone who appears to be put together which I think really reminded me of the idea that you really don't know what others are going through and this book really plays on that throughout as you see people really uncover what's really going on. She is definitely very insecure and some of her actions in this book are unjustified, but I think that adds to this idea that we are all flawed in one way or another and sometimes things don't appear as they are on the surface. 

As for Gabi's relationships, starting with her family, she is an only child, she has this very argumentative relationship with her mum and as much as she tolerates her dad, he is not around enough to make her not feel alone. Gabi's relationship with her mum is a huge part of this book as the journey very much fluctauates. Written from Gabi's perspective, her mum isn't painted in the best light but through Gabi's own personal journey of guilt and self-harm, you sort of see them both meet a middle ground. 

One of the happier moments in this book for me, was the relationship Gabi had with her granddad. At the end of each chapter, in italics, you get a small flashbacks of Gabi with a range of people but the ones that always made me the happiest were the ones with her granddad. As much as Gabi's mum didn't get a long with her own dad, Gabi had never related to or understood someone more. Gabi's granddad was the closest person in her life, she would always keep him updated, she would visit him frequently and even through his flaws, she would always try and see the best in time. I think I loved this part of the book so much was because I have quite a close relationship with my granddad myself and this just adds to how much I related with Gabi. There are just so many small moments in this book which are scenes with Gabi and her granddad that just make my heart so happy but I will say, as you progress through the book, there are definitely flaws revealed about Gabi's granddad and without spoiling too much, their relationship becomes very difficult as you get nearer the end, but those first few chapters contains so much hope and love, that you can't overlook it when talking about their relationship.

As for the friendships, I really loved them, mainly Gabi's best friend who is the first one to notice when Gabi first self harms. I think I loved this friendship so much because of how important her best friend's role is. Her best friend is so thoughtful and caring, which you really see and understand throughout the book and when dealing with self harm, her best friend reacts in a way that I think is supportive and appropriate for the circumstance.

This book does also contain a bit of romance, which is what let this book down for me. As you might know, I love a bit of romance, but it just seemed so rushed and inapproriate for this book. I don't really want to spoil too much but the love interest for Gabi makes, what I would deem as, a huge slip up and it almost seems to be brushed over and forgiven way too quickly for my liking. It seemed to feel a bit rushed and I really just wasn't a fan of the love interest, he was far too insensitive and careless at the beginning for me to enjoy their romance nearer the end. 

One of the main story lines in this book, is the mystery of why Gabi carries so much guilt and you see snippets of her dreams and little things that trigger her, yet you don't know what's caused it. However, by the end, all is revealed and it is heartbreaking. I had to stop and just cry when I came closer to the end because the myserty that is revealed is just devastating and I can't describe it in another way. I don't want to spoil it though, but just be warned, it's probably going to make you cry. 

As for the ending, it is one of the main things that leaves me quite conflicted about this book. Initially, I didn't like it, I though that it was abrupt and lacked a lot of explaination as well as a thoughful resolution, however, the more I thought about it, the more I thought that the ending made sense. Without saying what happens, the ending leaves it up to your interpretation to an extent, it leaves you on the edge which I disliked at first but not that I think about it, it makes sense. I think the ending of this book demonstrates that there really is not a simple ending to someone who has gone through self harm. There isn't a happy ending or a satisfying resolution but as the reader, you can offer hope that the character will come to an understanding. The ending definitely adds to how well I think the book deals with self herm, I have thought about it lots of times, and I have came to the idea that the ending was the most approriate it could have been for a book like this. It offers hope but it also demonstrates that there isn't an easy escape and that something like self harm is a journey. 

Before, I finish this review, I thought that I would just quickly say why I think some people should read this book. Obviously, this isn't a book for everyone, or maybe even most people for that matter, it is definitely very emotional and graphic but I think that the subject matter it discusses needs to be understood more by a wider range of people. I think that you should read this book if you want to understand self harm more, whether you know someone who has gone through it, someone who is going through it, or you just want to gain and understanding, I think that this could be really insightful for you. This book offers a first hand experience of what self harm can be like, what the mentality is like and also the ways in which people react to it. 

This book definitely means a lot to me and I really hope that these difficult topics are confronted and discussed more because I think more people are going through it than what we realise. 

Grace xx

HOW AM I REALLY DOING? - A change in mentality starting now

There have been so many posts I have wanted to write about my own thoughts, feelings and fears but they have all never felt right to post about. They either seem too sad/ dramatic or they are just a big load of babble. However, I am on this journey and I still want to share how I am really feeling. I find it really easy to just shake it off and say that I'm okay, even though more often than not that's a lie, but I thought that I would just have a bit of a conversation with myself in this post just talking about how I really feel. 

I'm definitely not okay, some days are worse than others, but I am have really good days. I find it difficult to determine when I wake up in the morning, how the rest of the day is going to turn out. Things change, people change, but my mentality has probably changed the most recently or at least, I have only just started noticing how much it has changed. 

Right now, I have never been more paranoid. Everything I do, everything someone else does, I question it, I look at the positive outcome of it, but then I switch and imagine the worst possible scenario. I overthink it in my head until that thought almost acts as a reality. Sometimes I can push it away to the back of my head and forget about it, but others, I send myself into a spiral because of it. 

I'm currently finding it really hard to trust people, whether it's something they tell me or something I tell them, I can never guarantee that they will keep it, and sometimes, I can't trust myself that I can keep it. I'd like to think that I'm trust-worthy but I know people who would like to debate that. I mainly don't trust myself though, I second guess my every move and I don't trust that things will happen the way they suppose to. 

Saying all of that though, I am doing better than what I was at the end of 2018. The end of 2018 was the lowest my mentality had ever been and although, some days, I feel like I am leading myself back into that place, I somehow manage to get up and tackle it better than I did months ago.

I still have more bad days than I do good days but right now, I am more hopeful than I have ever been because things will get better. I am surrounded by people thriving, people feeling better than they have ever been, people pushing themseleves to the best of their ability, and I know I am not them and that I am falling behind in terms of progress, but right now, I'm trying to see that for what it is. 

Right now, I am scared I am going to be left behind. I have been scared for months but now that I am starting to feel a physical distance between myself and others but it is almost as if it is out of my control. It could quite well be my fault and I just don't know it, but I also don't know how I am going to fix it so I am just going to wait it out and see what happens. 

I always feel like I am out of control, it is probably why I can't trust myself, but currently, I'm trying to put myself in fate, even though I have never really been much of a believer. 

Today, February 10th, I have had what feels like a revelation. I feel motivated to change my attitudes and to better myself. Starting now, I am going to free myself of my most negative thoughts. I am going to try and be nicer, to myself and to others. I want to get better but I mainly want to be happier and right now, I sort of feel like I need it.

I want my blog to be less like a 'blog' and to be more like my diary. You could say it sounds cheesy but I am so lost at the moment, I think I need this. I am going to try and write posts as often as I can but the day I right them, will be the day I post them and the time at which I finish writing them, will be the time at which I post them. They might still well be blog posts about books or makeup or fashion, but you'll probably be seeing lots of updates and rambling posts too. I don't think I'll promote  as much on my social medias because I want this to be for me. 

Grace xx

ZOEEVA PALETTES

It feels like it has been forever since I have written a beauty related blog post, but I felt really inspired to write about these palettes since recieving them for Christmas this year. I have always been intriguied by Zoeeva's makeup products because I have always heard amazing things and so when I saw this little vault set avaliable for Christmas, I added it to my wishlist. I am very grateful to have recieved this for Christmas and because it is a little while after I was gifted this, I have had the chance to try out each of the palettes a few times now to give you my final verdict. 

This set contained three of Zoeeva's most popular ten shade eye shadow palettes, Caramel Melange, Cocoa Blend and Blanc Fusion. I love how all of these palettes look together because they are so similar in style and the gold foiling is just stunning but I also love how you can tell the difference between all them. 

One of the reasons I have always been so drawn to these palettes is because of how travel friendly they appear to be and now having them, I definitely think that they would make the perfect travel palette. They are super slim and the range of shades you get in each one is just enough to create a range of looks. 

Before going into each palette, I thought I'd talk about the formula of the matte shades and then the shimmer shades, because they are very consistent throughout the three palettes. The matte shades I found to not be the most pigmented but they blend and apply so easily that they are a really good formula to work with. I quite like that this formula is quite buildable because then you can really customize the intensity of the colours you work with. I also love how well these matte shades work together because they all blend so seamlessly together, they are a dream to use. As for the shimmer shades, they are stunning. They are super smooth but I will say that the way you apply them is key when trying to achieve a super intense and shimmery finish. I find they work best on a flat brush that is slightly damp because when you apply them this way, they almost look wet and they apply so easily. I will say that you do get a bit of fall out when working with this formula but it isn't anything that is uncontrollable. 

The Caramel Melange Palette

This palette contains the most warm tones out of the three, and a lot of the shades have a reddish orange tone to them, which I love to wear because I find that it makes my green eyes stand out more. I love the range of mattes in this palette because you have essential colours like the matte white shade but you also have a cool brown shade and a coral matte shade which tend to be colours I don't see a lot in neutral palettes like this. My favourite shade in this palette however, is called 'Liquid Center' and it is the most beautiful copper shade. I just think that this shade all of the lid, with a few of the matte shades in the crease makes such a lovely everyday eye shadow look, and it is super easy to create. 

The Cocoa Blend Palette

This selection of shades is probably the most unlike me out of the three of them because it contains quite a few darker shades and so it is much more of a smokey eye palette. However, I love the range of shimmers in this palette because you have some really unique selection like a dark plum/cranberry shade and also a forest green shade that I think would be so fun to work with. The mattes that you do get in this palette though are such essentials, particularly the bottom two, as they are super beautiful warm brown crease shades. I will definitely be reaching for this palette when I want something a little more intense and smokey because I think that every shade you could need for that look is in this palette.  

The Blanc Fusion Palette

This is probably my favourite out of the two because of the bottom row of matte shades. The shades in this palette are completely different to anything else I own but they all work so well together for an everyday eye look. I love the pop of colour in this palette also, I think that the yellow shimmer shade really flatters all of the other colours in this palette. Just everything about this palette is perfect to me and I definitely know that I am going to get the most use out of this one. It is also the one that I would recommend the most to anyone, which I think is quite funny because I find that the other two are more popular than this one. 

Let me know if you have tried out these palettes and what you think of them or if you want to try them!

Grace xx

FEBRUARY TBR

I am really loving my bookish posts at the moment so I am going to carry on with them just because I am really just trying to explore myself and what it is that I want to post on my blog. For today though, I thought I would share my TBR for this month because I think that by doing this, I will be able to make sure that I get to all the books that I want to get to by tackling it one month at a time. This TBR is pretty ambitious this month though because it does include a classic and also the longest book that I will have ever read, if I get to it but there is a whole range of genres some maybe this might inspire some of you to try reading these books yourself in February. 

The first book is Damage by Eve Ainsworth which you would have probably have seen in my most recent book haul (linked here). This was such an impulse buy for me but I am super intriguied to get to this, in fact, I have already started it as I am writing this post. The book itself is pretty small so it should be a fairly quick read but from what I know about this book, it discusses a lot about mental health, in particular self-harm so if you are sensitive to that topic, then you may want to skip this book. I am definitely very intriguied to see how mental illness is presented in this book especially because I think it is really easy to cross the line sometimes, but you will definitely be seeing my thoughts on this once I have finished it. My hope for this book though is that it is really going to present a realistic image of mental illness and self-harm in a way that the people who read it will gain a greater understanding of the topic.

As for the classic on my TBR this month, it's Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. There isn't a particular reason as to why I want to read this book this month but I would love to say that I explored the classics genre more this year and so I wanted to start sooner rather than later. I know a lot of people love this book though and I am hoping I will do the same. To be completely honest, I know near to nothing about this book so I think I am going to keep it that way when I get to it, just so that I can really interpret this story in my own way. I also plan on watching the film adaptation to this book once I have read it just so that it might help my understanding of the book further. This book does seem pretty big though because the writing is quite small so I am intimidated by it, but hopefully I will get to it in February. 

I have said it loads already but I really want to explore the fantsay genre some more and so I want to start with a standalone book because it is less commitment, so I would be more inclined to read it first. In that case though, next on my TBR is Claire de Lune by Christine Johnson, which is all about werewolves and it also seems like it has a lot of romance in it also so I think that I am going to like it. This again, seems like a fairly short book and I really hope that I like it. It is definitely giving me Teen Wolf vibes so I think that it has the potential to be really good. 

If you have already seen my January Wrap Up (linked here) then you will already know that I have read the first three Harry Potter books and so to continue on with the series, I would like to get to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling this month. This book will be the biggest book I have ever read when I finish it and so having not started, I am quite aprehensive as to how I am going to get through it, but I am loving the Harry Potter series so far so I can only hope that it only gets better from here. I think it would be very overly ambitious for me to say that I would like to read more than one Harry Potter book this month, but we will see where the month goes, but as of right now, I would love to complete the fourth Harry Potter book by the time March comes around. 

The final book I want to get to in the month of February is The Sun is also a Star by Nicola Yoon. This is a really hyped young adult novel which is getting a film adaptation this year and so I am super egar to see what both the book and film are like. I have heard nothing but good things about this book and I have also heard that it is a pretty quick read so we will see how I get on with it but I just thought that this would be a really nice book to read in the middle of some fantasy and classics for something a little more light hearted. I don't know much about this book but I know that is set across the span of a day and that the two main characters are from two completely different lives. It seems to tackle the topic of immigration which I am super excited to educate myself on more, but I think that this could be a impactful read.

Let me know if you plan on doing any reading this month, and if so, which books?

Grace xx

MINI BOOK HAUL

Okay, so I know I said that I was going to stop buying books after I did that massive MusicMagpie order (haul linked here) but apparently, I cannot control myself and so I have another book haul today, except there are only four books so I guess you could debate that this is progress. Once again, I didn't need any of these books but they were super affordable from the Works so I just bought them. I feel like eventually, I would like to do a post all about the best places to get really good affordable books but right now, I am just testing out some places but maybe you will be seeing that in the future, who knows?

The first book I bought was The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris (£6). I have heard so many amazing things about this book ever since it was released and so I have been really desperate to give it a read for myself. I am definitely not usually a hardback person but because this one was so affordable, I thought that I would give it a go. This book is based on a true story which I think what makes it such an important and impactful read. It is basically set in WW2, in Auschwitz and the main character Jewish but he is the tattooist that has to permanently mark the rest of the prisoners in this concentration camps. I am definitely very excited to get to this book because I think that it is going to be a very powerful story. WW2 is definitely a time in history that I know a fair bit about but I think stories like this are something history lessons will never cover or to the extent that I think this book will. You will definitely be getting a review about this book once I get round to it as I think that I am going to give it a very high rating, or at least, I am hoping I will.

The next book is going to seem a little random and not very 'me' but in case you didn't know, I do history alevel and one of the sections I have to study is Tsarist and Communist Russia. History is definitely the subject that I find myself putting a lot of extra work into and I am trying to stay on top of extra reading as much as possible just so that I can have a greater variety of knowledge. Therefore, when I saw this book for such an affordable price, I thought that it was worth picking up, so it is The Last of the Tsars by Robert Service (£2). This book, as the title says, focuses on Tsar Nicholas II as he was in fact, the last Tsar of Russia before the Russian revolutions. I think, in the near future, this book is going to be really useful to me and because it is my own copy, I now have the opportunity to read through it, annotate and highlight it so that I can come back to it, in time for my proper exams. It is definitely not what I would typically pick up but I think because it was so affordable, I couldn't really say no.

I couldn't believe it when I saw this book for £1 because I have heard a few things about it and it has been on my wishlist for a while, so I just had to pick it up while I could for such an affordable price. It is Damage by Eve Ainsworth (£1) which I also think is going to be a really powerful story. From what I know about this book, it discusses very dark topics like depression and self-harm so just a warning to anyone who might find those topics triggering, you might not want to read this book. I am very curious about this book because I would like to see what the presentation of mental health is like. Considering that I have been through very similar circumstances than what this book describes, I am definitely cautious going into this also, just in case I find it overly triggering, but I do want to give it a go. I think I would be very lucky if I could find a book that puts into words what I think and feel sometimes so I am really hoping that this book might do that for me. I plan on reading this book really soon just because I really want to see what it's like so I am sure you will be seeing a post on it in the next few weeks.

As for the final book, I mainly bought it because of how beautiful the cover was but I am also trying to widen my reading this year and so I saw no harm in buying another classic to add to my very small collection. I have heard a lot about Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (£3) as I think that a lot of people start out with this book when diving into the classics genre so I thought that I would do the same. I also know that there is a film based on this book so I am also very intrigued to see what that adaptation is like, but obviously, I am going to read the book first. I mainly just love how gorgeous this edition is. It is a little smaller than your average book but I just think that the colours and everything, make it so beautiful. There are also some other Jane Austen books in this same edition form and so I think that if I enjoy this book, I might collect the rest all in these really cute editions. 

Please let me know what you think of any of these books if you have read them, or heard about them!

Grace xx

A LITTLE UPDATE

I was a bit unsure on what I wanted to post this weekend because I have a lot of bookish posts going up soon but I wanted to split them up a bit and so I thought I would ramble a little bit instead. I would honestly be so impressed if anyone could stand reading my little rambling posts but I guess that's okay as posts like this allow me to reflect on recent events. 

It is currently February now and January definitely took some twists and turns that I didn't expect, some for the best and some for the worst. I had a lot of aims in January and although I did achieve some of them, I can't help but feel a little disappointed in myself because I know that I could have been more productive. 

My blog, in the month of January, definitely start off really well. I was posting nearly every other day but then I started to go into a bit of a decline when I started to feel uninspired. I know that it is really normal to feel a bit bored with your current content but currently, I don't know what I'm doing. Right now, I could describe my blog to you, because there aren't a set amount of topics that I discuss, it is sort of random and even though that might be okay for some, it is really starting to confuse me. You have probably noticed, but I have started blogging about books a lot more and as much as I love it, I can't help feeling like I am disappointing people by not posting beauty content which is how I started out.

In the month of February, I definitely hope to rediscover myself a bit more, especially in terms of my blog and my place on social media. I have definitely been fluctuating in terms of my activity but I really want to step up to the plate and challenge myself a bit more in terms of content I struggle to discuss and experimenting more with pictures to go on my Instagram and on my blog also. 

In terms of my education, Sixth Form is going pretty average for me right now, nothing has really seemed to change or adjust, apart from the fact that my AS exam in Further Maths has been officialized which is super scary but I am excited to see how it turns out.

While on the topic of school though, it is safe to say that my mental health has definitely been on quite a journey over the past month. Two or three weeks into January, I felt as though I had relapsed and that I was in a really dark place but currently speaking, I am doing okay. A lot of little things have contributed to my changes in mood but in particular, I have been really paranoid about my actions and things I have said. It is safe to say, that I am like that a lot of the time but it has just been much more prominent over the past month. 

I definitely want to spend February focusing on myself and improving myself. It is really easy for me, and a lot of others, to dwell on my own flaws but I really want to better myself. I want to be nicer, I want to be more careful and I want to be more hard-working, they are just a few. Hopefully, I will start documenting more of this journey but I am not going to apply pressure on myself in terms of posting on my blog regularly, but if you follow my Instagram, you will probably know once I've posted.

Look after yourselves,

Grace xx

JANUARY WRAP UP

January has been overall a pretty successful month for me, particularly in terms of reading. Never in my life have I ever been a huge bookworm but this year, I am really trying to change that and so I have already read five book in 2019 so far. This might not seem like much to some, but this is huge for me. I want to start documenting all of the books I read each month so that I can look back at the end of the year to see when I read each book.

You have probably noticed but I have already reviewed a lot of books this year and so this post isn't going to be me talking about these books but I will be linking the reviews of each one. I think that I am going to much prefer doing these wrap ups in this style as this post is going to be short and sweet, but there will be plent of links in case you want to know more. 

All of the books I read this month have been a 5/5 rating for me which is super surprising but obviously really rewarding as I have now discovered some of my favourite books this month. 

The Hate You Give - Angie Thomas

Read between January 1st to January 4th

Rating: 5/5

Review linked here

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - J. K. Rowling

Read between January 5th to January 9th

Rating: 5/5

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - J. K. Rowling

Read between January 12th to January 13th

Rating: 5/5

Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell

Read between January 9th to January 27th

Rating: 5/5

Review linked here

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J. K. Rowling

Read between January 14th to January 30th

Rating: 5/5

As of right now, I have not reviewed any of the Harry Potter books and that is because I plan on doing a whole review covering the whole series, so that will obviously be coming once I have finished the whole series, which I am really hoping will be at some stage in 2019. 

Nevertheless, January was a super good reading month for me and I hope to read just as many books in February. If you do want to stay up to date with what I am reading then my Goodreads account is linked here.

Grace xx